Remembrance

Some people are very particular to erect the gravestone right after the end of Shivah / שבעה. Many conclude Sheloshim / שלושים with Hakamat Matzevah / הקמת מצבה — unveiling of the monument. Others hold that the monument should be erected after the twelve months of mourning, since the memory of the deceased is still vivid for the first twelve months and only after that needs to be perpetuated by erecting the monument. Waiting more than twelve months is too long to leave a grave unmarked.

Hakamat Matzeva / הקמת מצבה — a formal dedication of the monument (sometimes referred to as unveiling, i.e., the formal removal of a veil draped over the stone) is practiced in many communities. The custom is to say Psalms, as described in the Prayers at the Graveside section, and to eulogize the deceased at the time of unveiling, recite Mourner's Kaddish / קדיש יתום and the memorial prayer. Therefore, the unveiling should not be scheduled on a day when eulogizing is forbidden. In order to recite Mourner's Kadish at the graveside, a Minyan / מניין — a quorum of at least ten Jewish men over the age of thirteen required for public prayer, must be present.